BOUNDARIES
Why might I want
to work
on boundaries?
If you find yourself:
feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, and resentful towards people for asking for your help
having no time for yourself, and feeling unable or confused how to make time without feeling guilty
fantasizing about leaving all of your responsibilities behind and being able to disappear and “start over”
avoiding interactions with people who may ask for something, or who may take up time that already feels limited
then consider prioritizing boundaries
in your therapeutic work.
implementation
This can feel like the hardest part of boundary work: the initial enforcement of them. Navigating what boundaries you want to implement, and then doing so, requires a shift in how you understand boundaries and their purpose. This will be the starting point to reframing how you take care of yourself.
maintenance
The only way that boundaries work are if we maintain them. Being able to identify how people may question or push back on your boundaries will better prepare you to respond in a way that allows you to adhere to your boundaries.
boundaries with self
This part of the work considers how we impact ourselves. Working on boundaries necessitates that we treat ourselves in the ways in which we are asking of others to treat us, as well. Common areas for self-boundaries include with time management, self-care, treatment we allow from others, finances, thoughts, people we allow in our lives, etc.
respecting the boundaries of others
As difficult as setting boundaries may be, it can be just as difficult to recognize and honor when someone else has set a limit with us. It is essential to having healthy relationships that we are able to hear the word no, in whatever form that no may present itself. Over time, respecting the boundaries of another person strengthens trust and mutual respect in that relationship.
self-esteem
Boundaries ask of us that we value having a healthy relationship with ourselves more than we value than we fear the opinions of others.
assertive communication
Being successful at setting boundaries ultimately requires of us that we are clear and direct in our communication. There are many forms of communication that we can utilize to incrementally expand one’s tolerance level to boundary setting.